CharactersGeorge Ira Woman (who bustles by)
A street corner. George and Ira lazily saunter towards the corner from opposite directions.
(coming to a stop at the corner) Ira! Fancy bumping into you.
(stopping too, and smiling) George! Yes, I haven’t seen you since—when was it?
Yesterday! That’s right. And, you know, today’s nearly over—so we might not have bumped into each other again until tomorrow!
(A woman bustles past, almost bumping into george.)
I wonder, where is that lady off to? And in such a hurry!
I don’t know. But she’s rushing there like there’s no tomorrow. (Pauses thoughtfully) Or if there is a tomorrow, there isn’t a day after that.
Ah, there’s always tomorrow. What’s the rush?
Hmm. (Thinking) You know, it’s funny you should say that.
Well, I just heard a man on the next block say, ‘Tomorrow never comes.’
He said, ‘Tomorrow never comes.’ He just came out with it. Totally unexpected.
What a strange man.
Well … I was thinking about it, and maybe it doesn’t come: you know, like cats when you call them.
Yes, cats. Cats don’t always come when you call them—unless, of course, there’s food involved. You have to go to them.
So … tomorrow never comes—you have to go to it. Is that what you’re saying?
I don’t know. It just kind of becomes ‘today’. Then, before you know it, ‘yesterday’. Every time. Without fail. Why, last Wednesday, tomorrow was Thursday—then, before you knew it, it was ‘today’—and now Thursday’s yesterday.
Yeah, but wait a second. If we’re talking about tomorrow, tomorrow’s Saturday.
Yes, it is. But tomorrow, Saturday will be ‘today’—and not only that, tomorrow, ‘tomorrow’ will be Sunday. It changes! You see?
Um … kind of …
Well, anyway, I mustn’t dawdle—I’ve got things to do, George. (Putting on a bit of a voice) One shouldn’t leave till tomorrow what one can do today.
Who said that?
(looking around) I did.
I mean, it sounds like a quote. Did you hear it somewhere?
That man on the next block, actually. He just came out with it. Right out of the blue.
Oh … What a strange man. So, what have you got to do today, then?
Well, you know that man on the next block?
No. But I’ve heard a lot about him.
I promised I’d feed his cat today.
Eh? You promised you’d feed his cat?
Yes. I promised I’d feed his cat, Tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Why’d he call it that?
Well, he said when he calls it, it never comes.
Oh. (Puzzled silence.) Okay … well, I’ll be on my way then. Maybe I’ll see you … er … tomorrow.
I hope so. And in the meantime I better go and see Tomorrow today. She must be starving.
(George and Ira leave the street corner, going their separate ways.)